“Show them a light and they’ll follow it anywhere.”---Anonymous
Guru shopping ain’t what it used to be. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi has ascended into a higher state of consciousness, teenager Prem Rawat (aka “The Baby-faced Bullshit Artist”) has rebranded himself as a humanitarian author, Jim Jones drank the Kool-Aid and was scattered at sea and Charlie Manson spent 50 years in prison and was shivved by metastatic colon cancer. The real tragedy was the underrated Mr. Rogers, who passed at a young 74, leaving his followers shaving their heads and rending their garments. Now what?
Where is Baba Ram Dass when you really need him? In 1967, Richard Alpert, a cohort of Timothy Leary at Harvard, traveled to India and became a disciple of Hindu guru Neem Karoli Baba, who gave him the name Ram Dass, meaning “Servant of Ram.” Alpert returned to the U.S. and in 1971 wrote the seminal book Be Here Now, which became required reading for all would-be hippies. He also wrote or co-authored twelve more books on spirituality over the next four decades but it was the square blue gem Be Here Now for which he’s remembered. The book resonated deeply with young people due to its immense cultural hype, unbridled hedonistic joy and the sense of shared community it provided during a defining moment in pop culture. Readers and reviewers generally concede BHN is a transformative counter-culture bible that acted as a bridge between the psychedelic experience of the 1960s and Eastern spiritual discipline. For many, it was a profound, life-altering and deeply impactful guide they carried with them into middle-age. The New York Times said the book “captured the spiritual zeitgeist of the early 1970s.”
Baba Ram Dass died on December 22, 2019, at the age of 88. Since then, we got bupkus. Deepak Chopra, a millionaire 100 times over? Come on. Eckhart Tolle? We don’t think so. Perhaps Self-help Sing, the comedic persona of Masood Boomgard is a more suitable guide for modern society. Singh advocates “unmotivational advice” to help people lower their expectations and just chill. He often advises people to quit, go home and sleep if they have a bad day, rather than trying to get blood out of a bad turnip. Boomgard has already amassed 1.7 million followers on Instagram and is popular on TikTok and YouTube. Check him out if you like. We’re still looking.
Still Life With Tom Robbins
In 1980, a little-known author named Tom Robbins took it upon himself to answer the question of How to Make Love Stay in his new book Still Life With Woodpecker. I was 40 years old at the time with the paperwork from a second divorce in my pocket so it was obvious I needed a little guidance in this area. I was so taken with the book I bought a dozen of them for my twelve best friends.
That’s not to say Tom Robbins ever really answered the question, but his book was filled with enough sterling advice that it quickly catapulted up to #1 on everybody’s best-seller lists and sent Tom on his way. For a while, Robbins became the Guru of Love. Still Life was a philosophical but funny work which championed romantic individualism over social activism, arguing that Love is the ultimate outlaw that defies rules, and magic must be used to keep it alive.
The central question asks how to maintain the magic. Robbins’ answer is not exactly a revelation (work like hell at making additional magic rather than just consuming the initial excitement), but his treatment of Love as an outlaw gadfly that refuses to obey rules and social convention, that slips and slides across the floor and out the door, is genius. The author suggests that lovers should “aid and abet” each other in capturing this unpredictable free agent. The book contends that people are never perfect but Love can be. Robbins alleges that the world contains a set amount of good and evil and the goal is to keep things stirred up to prevent evil from solidifying, rather than to completely eliminate it. Satisfaction often comes from being playful, rebellious and immature rather than cautious or overly responsible. Criminals break rules, outlaws live outside them entirely. The book’s famous last line suggests that individuals can reclaim their joy and innocence, overcoming past limitations:
“It’s Never Too Late to Have a Happy Childhood.”
That’s sort of our motto around here.
James Hollis Knows Exactly Who You Are
James Hollis, Ph.D. is a prominent American Jungian psychoanalyst, author and public speaker based in Washington, D.C.. He’s best known for applying Carl Jung’s depth psychology to help individuals find personal meaning and purpose and to navigate life transitions, particularly in the second half of life.
Hollis has been listening to people in that second half for over 40 years. He knows what you’re thinking and he’d just as soon you didn’t ask him, “Is this all there is?” Somewhere between 35-65, most of us hit a wall. The career, marriage, identity you built in your twenties and thirties stops making sense. Hollis calls this the “middle passage” rather than a mid-life crisis. He says it’s your psyche demanding you grow up again. The first half of your life is spent adapting to the world. The second half is about adapting to your soul. And the soul rarely wants what the ego chased.
Hollis says “We are all living out someone else’s life.” The middle passage is when you notice the script isn’t yours. Anxiety often means you’re waking up to that fact. Anxiety, depression, restlessness---these aren’t malfunctions. They’re your psyche telling you that life is too small for who you’re becoming. Hollis disagrees with almost everybody about what an individual wants most in life. “The goal should be meaning, not happiness. What is life asking of you now…not what do you want from life. Flip the script.”
No Ten Steps for this guy. And Hollis refuses to comfort you. “You’re going to have to grieve the life you thought you’d have before you can live the life that’s waiting. Growth requires necessary suffering.” Then again, if you live in Septuagenaria or further down the road, that’s probably not a big deal for you. Hollis’ life philosophy in a nutshell is “Shut up, suit up and show up.” Whiners need not apply.
Still in a quandary? Here are some suggestions:
1. Stop asking “What should I do?” and start asking “What’s being asked of me?” Sit for 5 minutes each morning and ask “where in my life do I feel constricted, bored or anxious?” That’s where the task is. Symptoms point to the task.
2. Whatever dilemma you’re in, it’s your fault not someone else’s Next time you feel resentment or immobility, finish this sentence: “The part of me I haven’t lived yet is ….?” For instance---the part of me I haven’t lived yet is The Writer. Then go spend 5% of the week attending to that deficiency. Be careful if the answer is wine taster or motorcycle racer.
3. Hollis says “The second half of life is built on a thousand small surrenders.” Try this: before bed tonight, ask yourself “What is one small thing I could do tomorrow that honors the person I’m becoming, not the person I was?” Call someone you haven’t spoken to in months or years. Throw away an old role. Take a walk without purpose. Bring Bill Killeen a nice pastry. Small is sustainable. You can do it if you try. Oh, and cream puffs are always nice.
Elizabeth Gilbert Takes No Prisoners
You probably remember Elizabeth Gilbert from the book Eat, Pray, Love, which sold over 12 million copies or the Julia Roberts film of the same name. The book chronicled Gilbert’s journey of self-discovery and spiritual healing after a divorce at age 33. Now in her mid-fifties, Gilbert reflects, “I spent my twenties trying to be good. I spent my thirties trying to be interesting. Now I’m in my fifties and I just want to be done with my own nonsense. I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit.”
Where James Hollis asks “What does your soul demand,” Gilbert inquires “What would you do if you weren’t afraid of being embarrassed?” Same depth, different delivery. She calls it “stubborn gladness” vs. Hollis’ “necessary suffering.” Elizabeth personifies creativity as a drunk fairy. She wants you to “Stop waiting for courage, just do the thing while you’re scared. Perfectionism is just fear in really good shoes. Fear is allowed to have a voice, it’s not allowed to have a vote. It can ride in the car but it has to sit in the backseat. And it can’t touch the radio. And it definitely cannot drive.” Translation: You don’t eliminate fear. You put it in its place like a cranky toddler. Also, “Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they’re yours. But seriously, who wants to win that argument?”
Gilbert’s forte is making depth accessible. Hollis tells you to enter the swamp. Gilbert hands you hip waders and an alligator joke, then shoves you in. Same swamp, less drowning. In an era when fake gurus live in penthouses, wear Armani and spout gibberish, she’s the wizard in the clown suit, standing on the corner handing out fliers. Don’t be afraid to take one.
That’s all, folks….
