“I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratsy, matsy, oily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming streaming, flaxen, waxen…HAIR!”---Galt MacDermot
Who doesn’t? By age sixty, 85% of men experience significant hair thinning, and no matter what Rogaine and Propecia tell you, there’s nothing you can do about it. Ancient Greeks rubbed their bald heads with a mixture of dates, dog’s paw and donkey’s hoof. Celtic cures involved mice in a jar. Native Americans turned to yucca juice. Throughout human history, there have been a number of existential quests---for knowledge, for peace, for riches---and for a cure for dreaded baldness. So far we got nuttin’.
Don’t tell anybody, but those crafty devils out West at UCLA have been poking around in the abandoned Hair Gold Mine for a long time now and they finally dug up something that could be the mother lode. The scientists have identified a small molecule that, when prompted, can waken long-slumbering but undamaged follicles. The researchers have named the transporting molecule PP405. In scientific terms, this molecule is isolated and applied to a protein in the follicle stem cells that keeps the cells dormant. This inhibits the protein and the stem cells are moved to awaken. Lab work on the molecule has been going on for a decade, only arriving at human trials in 2023. In those trials, researchers found that application of PP405 as a topical medicine onto the scalp at bedtime produced promising results. Though cautious with the actual data, UCLA labeled the results “statistically significant.” Most important, they believe the treatment will produce full “terminal” hair rather than the peach fuzz produced by the current lotions.
The three scientists behind the breakthrough are William Lowry, professor of molecular, cell and developmental biology; Heather Christofk, professor of biological chemistry and Michael Jung, distinguished professor of chemistry. All are bullish on the potential of the treatment to reverse pattern hair loss. “At some point, most men and women suffer from thinning hair or lose it after chemotherapy, infections or other stressors” says Lowry, “and it affects them psychologically.” The three scientists agree that no product will work for everyone, “but our first human trials in Orange County have been very encouraging.”
Through UCLA’s Technology Transfer Group, which transforms brilliant research into global market products, the scientists have co-founded a medical development company called Pelage Pharmaceuticals. Backed by Google Ventures, last year the company raised $16.4 million in funding to shepherd further trials and win official clearances, assuming President Trumpy hasn’t dissolved the FDA by then. “It might take a little while,” says Lowry, but it will be worth waiting for.”
No kidding. We’re thinking of going back to barber school.
Saving The World
We know, you’re bumfuzzled by the likely plight of the world and your dad finally told you Mighty Mouse isn’t real. But cheer up, the superhero called Emerging Technology will have a lot to say about the fate of the planet. Here are some things which should help:
1. Solar Glass. What if every window in a skyscraper could generate energy? That’s the promise of Solar Glass, an emerging technology getting a lot of buzz in design and sustainability circles, or so they tell us. Just like it sounds, Solar Glass is suitably transparent window material which also captures the sun’s energy and converts it into electricity. The big hurdle so far has been efficiency. High-performance SG cells can achieve 25% efficiency or greater, but maintaining transparency means sacrificing the efficiency with which light is converted into electricity. But chin up, a University of Michigan team is developing a Solar Glass product that offers 15% efficiency and climbing while letting 50% of light pass through. According to projections from nearby Michigan State, 5 to 7 billion square meters of usable window space exists, enough to power a full 40% of U.S. energy needs with a Solar glass product. That’s a big Wow!
2. Fake Meat. Calm down, this has nothing to do with penis enhancement. It’s all about the atrocious damage to the planet caused by meat production. The beef industry alone relies on 164 square meters of grazing land per 100 grams of meat and is one of the leading causes of deforestation in Central and South America. Deforestation leads to unprecedented carbon release into the atmosphere. The Food and Agriculture Organization of the U.N. believes livestock accounts for about 14.5% of anthropogenic greenhouse gas emissions. Animals also use huge amounts of freshwater, while the contaminated runoff from industrial livestock operations pollutes local waterways.
We know---you don’t like artificial meat. The original stuff tasted like bland cardboard, and that was the top of the line product. The good news is that the latest imitations are surprisingly tasty, especially the newest alternatives from Beyond Meat and Impossible Foods. As much credit as these companies get for technological achievement and advanced food science, their real triumph is that they’re making Fake Meat culturally hip, although probably not in Fort Worth. You can even order meatless burgers now at Burger King and get a meat-free taco at Del Taco. We’re fearfully awaiting the renovation of the sacred Fenway Frank at our favorite ballpark.
3. Super Batteries. Power is the limiting factor in holding back many green technologies. Wind and solar, for example, are capable of generating vast amounts of electricity, but adoption of these technologies has been impeded by a major shortcoming; sometimes it’s not windy or sunny. Electric cars are making huge strides, but until their range increases and charging times diminish, fossil fuels will rule. Existing battery technology won’t cut it---for one thing, it’s too expensive. According to the Clean Air Task Force, for California to meet ambitious goals of powering itself through renewables only, the state would need to spend $360 billion on energy storage systems. But wait! Is that Mighty Mouse come to save the day?
Actually, it’s a company called Form Energy, which is developing a miracle called the aqueous sulfur-flow battery, which will cost somewhere between $1 to $10 per kilowatt-hour compared with lithium’s $200 per KH cost. Form’s solution could help Cali meet its energy targets before the middle of the century, providing a roadmap for the rest of the world.
Cue up Johann’s Ode to Joy, all us Pollyannas are off to the picnic.
The Demise Of Organized Religion
“Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.”---Napoleon Bonaparte
“The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.”---George Bernard Shaw
Virtually all wars are caused by one of two things---the desire to gain more land or the foolishness of organized religion. It’s difficult to imagine that tyrants will ever completely disappear, but OR is already on the ropes. In America, the percentage of citizens with no religious affiliation has risen to 21% in 2021 to 2023, up from a mere 9% in 2000-2003. In the Western world, Christianity is experiencing a significant decline, with projections indicating a potential decrease in its share of the population. While other religions are also facing challenges, the extent and speed of decline, particularly in Christian-majority regions, make it a prominent case.
Why is this happening? There seem to be four primary motivations. First, many people leave because of cultural stagnation. They are becoming more ideologically progressive, but their religious organizations are not. Often, people report intellectual reasons for leaving religions or say they simply outgrew their faith. Other times, respondents indicate that they cannot endorse the values of their religious organization, including their views on LGBTQ+ individuals, stances on gender or sexuality or pervasive sexism and racism.
Second, some people leave because of religious or spiritual trauma or abuse. A number have experienced this abuse firsthand, others have witnessed people they love experience trauma. Still others have left organized religion because of abuses perpetrated at an institutional level (for example, by Catholic priests). For many, walking away is a bold act of courage.
Third, some walk away from their faith because they have been given theologically thin accounts for the existence of evil in the world or insufficient explanations for why adversity strikes them. They cannot make sense of what they were taught and their own life experiences, especially if their previous beliefs were framed in a just world beliefs system, which teaches that people get what they deserve. If there is an omniscient being, you serve it well and something terrible happens to you anyway, what’s the use? Life seems unfair, god or no god. Simplistic views of suffering can lead people to leave religion.
While there are undoubtedly many more reasons to get off the bus, Gus, all of the above share a common underlying feature; they involve cognitive dissonance, the disorienting feeling we get when our beliefs don’t line up with our actions. For many, the tenets they believed no longer fit with their experiences of the world. Although some people are able to fit these discrepant beliefs into existing belief structures, if the discrepancy is too great, many will abandon their beliefs altogether and look for something completely new.
When you’re mulling it over, you could do worse than to consider Tlazolteotl, the Aztec god of vice, purification, steam baths, lust, filth, and a patroness of adulterers. Not many requirements and no church on Sundays.
You’ll Live Longer If You Keep On Truckin’.
A groundbreaking study utilizing precise accelerometer data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey of the CDC has unveiled a remarkable finding: our daily movement patterns serve as the single most powerful indicator of longevity, outweighing conventional factors such as age, smoking habits and chronic conditions. The research, which monitored 3,600 participants aged 50-80, delivers an empowering message---it’s not merely about structured exercise sessions, but rather the cumulative effect of movement throughout our daily activities that significantly influences our lifespan. And you thought Robert Crumb was just fooling around when he told us to Keep On Truckin’.
So Walk on By (don’t wait on the corner), Walk Like an Egyptian, Walk the Line, Walk Away Renee, start Walkin’ to New Orleans, Walk Right In, consider Walking On Sunshine, Take a Walk On the Wild Side, get some Boots that Were Made For Walkin’ and walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain, though your dreams be tossed and blown; walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you’ll never walk alone. Don’t just stand there, do something!
That’s all, folks….
Addenda: The column was nestled all snug in its bed, then Dawn Stephenson went and died.
“Blue skies, smilin’ at me…nothin’ but blue skies do I see.”---Irving Berlin
In these harrowing years of The Great Obliteration, old friends pass daily. What was different about Dawn Stevenson is she took us with her on the rollercoaster ride that was the last couple of years of her life. We shared the big dips, the scary turns, the intoxicating full-speed-ahead moments when the car was firmly on the tracks. Dawn’s last year was like a horror novel you couldn’t put down---the monster was rapping on her window at midnight, then he wasn’t, but as soon as you got comfortable, there he was back again, scraping his fingernails on the glass. Dawn got every terrifying second down in print.
We rooted hard for her because she was younger than her years and because she was brave and because she got the short end of the stick. How many people in the midst of a vicious cancer siege have their houses blown apart by a hurricane? And we rooted for her because she was us, rising and falling and getting back up again to battle a reaper who won’t take no for an answer.
Nobody knows exactly what happened on the final page, or if they do, nobody is talking about it, and that’s as it should be. Whether you take the final corner on two wheels or sink softly into the sea is nobody’s business but your own. We will remember Dawn and her desperate fight for a long time because of her frightening skill in depicting the fear that pulsed through her, the exhilaration of her unexpected escapes and her fervent appreciation for the wonders of life. See you soon, Dawn. Somewhere over the blue skies of Micanopy, right?
