On August 3, 2007, China’s State Administrators for Religious Affairs issued a decree that all the reincarnations of tulkus of Tibetan Buddhism must get governmental approval. Otherwise, they are “illegal or invalid.” The state Administration for Religious Affairs said the new regulations were “an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation.” Fascinating as the concept may be, the real objective was to limit the power of the Dalai Lama, Tibet’s spiritual and political leader who has been living in exile in Dharamshala in the Indian Himalayas since 1959. This meant that when the Dalai Lama, now a sprightly 89, passes away there could be two Dalai Lamas---the real one chosen by the Buddhist monks and the cheap imitation government-approved Dalai Lama. What’s a true believer to do?
The original Dalai Lama, however, didn’t get to be D.L. for nothing. He immediately asserted that he would not be reborn in any place under China’s control, putting government authorities in a quandary. Since the Dali Lama refused to die, all remained quiet on the Eastern front until November of 2021 when a senior local Communist Party official toured three townships in the well-named county of Sog in the Tibet Autonomous Region that has a history of resistance to state controls on religion. His goal was to insure that local Tibetan officials were obeying the government policies on reincarnation. The locals all promised they were being good but there was some consternation about a snickering renegade hyena who followed the official everywhere he went.
According to Tibetan lore, each Dalai Lama is a reincarnation of the Avalokitesvara, who embodies the compassion of all Buddhas. He is both the foremost spiritual leader of the Gelug school of Tibetan Buddhism and in many times past and present also a political leader of the Tibetans. Traditionally, after he dies, a search begins in Tibet to find his reincarnation. As you can imagine, this is tough work involving questions like which way was the D.L. looking when he died and which direction the smoke blows when he is cremated, not to mention the interpretation of visions from the holy oracle lake Lhamo Latso in Tibet. While predictably most Dalai Lamas have been found in Tibet, one longshot was born in Mongolia and another in India, both with Vegas odds of 200-1 or more.
Realizing this a critical matter to millions of followers and potential dupes, we here at Flying Pie headquarters advocate the hiring of a skilled, experienced human-locator like, say, Dog, the Bounty Hunter to find the new D.L. Despite being a grizzled 71, Dog is willing to scour the Earth to find his man and is not easily put off by whiny Chinese doughboys waving edicts.
What if the next Dalai Lama trips everyone up by being born as a woman. It’s possible---reincarnation is a tricky taskmaster. What if he”s born in Tuvalu or the Faroe Islands or Opa-Locka? How is anybody going to find him? Further complicating this whole business is the issue of the Panchen Lama, another prominent reincarnation lineage. Traditionally, the Dalai Lamas and the Panchen Lamas have played a major role in identifying once another, which leaves plenty of room for hanky-panky. The last Panchen Lama, born in Tibet and recognized by the current Dalai Lama, disappeared at the age of six in the mid-1990s and was never heard from again. What if he suddenly shows up and throws a monkey wrench into the works? No matter what happens, the Chinese government is inevitably going to get their own Dalai Lama, putting the two leaders at odds and forcing a no-holds-barred cage match at Caesar’s on Super Bowl weekend. Who says organized religion isn’t any fun?
The Logistics of Reincarnation
“I’m petrified of reincarnation because…you know…I like being me.”---Chris Martin
What happens when we die, that is the question? Joe E. Brown of Austin, Texas was so sure about his opinion he plastered it on a roadside billboard; When You’re Dead, You’re Dead! He has an army of co-believers. The Catholic Church, on the other hand, teaches that you have two depots, Heaven and Hell, both determined by your actions in this life. We have always rejected the Catholic option, but now we’re not so sure. If there is no Hell, where are we going to put Donald Trump and his slobbering army of sycophants when they die? Even Baltimore is too good for this motley crew.
Despite your snickering, a lot of people believe in reincarnation. “Hindus do it, Buddhists do it, even tie-dyed hippies do it, let’s do it, let’s fall in line.” Not so fast, my friends, let’s have a few details.
According to The Handbook of Christian Apologetics, reincarnation occurs when the individual soul survives death and transmigrates into another body, not necessarily human. Sort of like recycling. This can happen many times. Only when the soul has learned its lessons well and become sufficiently enlightened can it gain entrance into the good kids tent and perhaps be absorbed by the Cosmic Arranger. If one leads a good life, he is reborn as a more enlightened being; if not, he moves to Dung Beetle City with Lindsay Graham. This concept is over 3000 years old and has now expanded to the point where worldwide more people believe in it than do not, not that that’s any guarantee. After all, they have the same opinion about soccer.
The idea of reincarnation is strongest perhaps in Hinduism, where it is a theological doctrine. Their evidence in support of reincarnation comes from two sources…first, the jatismaras-people who can actually remember their past lives, and second, the testimony of their scriptures and saints. Interestingly, Buddhism does not describe reincarnation in the same way as do the Hindus. According to Alan Peto, a 30-year-old Buddhist who knows about these things, his religion teaches the concept of “rebirth,” which is similar to reincarnation but not exactly the same since “There is no ‘self’ or ‘soul,’ thus it would be impossible to be reincarnated as the same person in an animal, for instance, because there is no self to be reincarnated.” Wait…what?
The Christian Bibles reject reincarnation in favor of resurrection, which teaches that after you die, your body remains inert for a time while your soul takes off to Heaven or Hades. Christians cannot affirm reincarnation because it is in direct conflict with resurrection. Monsignor Daly will tell you that you don’t get infinite chances to get life right. “That philosophy says it’s okay if I mess up in this life, I’ll always get another life to make things better. It’s like in baseball when you strike out. You go back to the dugout, you don’t get three more strikes.”
Ah! Finally a language we can understand.
The Search For Bridey Murphy (1798-1864)
In 1952, Colorado businessman and amateur hypnotist Morey Bernstein put housewife Virginia Tighe of Pueblo, Colorado in a trance that elicited revelations about Tighe’s alleged past life as a nineteenth-century Irishwoman. Bernstein used a technique called hypnotic regression, during which the subject is gradually taken back to childhood. He then attempted to take Virginia one step further and was astonished to find he was listening to Bridey Murphy, an eight-year-old 1806 Irish schoolgirl living in Cork.
The conversation rambled on through Bridey Murphy’s life and to a fall which caused her death in 1864. She watched her own funeral, describing her tombstone and the state of being in life after death, a feeling neither of pain nor happiness. Somehow, she was reborn in America 59 years later, now named Virginia Mae Reese. Though never having been to Ireland and not ordinarily speaking with even the slightest Irish accent, under hypnosis Tighe spoke with a heavy brogue and even used Irish expressions.
The story of Bridey Murphy was first told in a series of articles by William J. Barker in the Denver Post in 1954. In early 1956, Doubleday released a book by Bernstein, which caused a sensation in this country and brought notoriety to reincarnation, which had never been taken seriously in the United States. Rigorous investigations discovered that many of the details provided by Tighe were accurate, particularly her descriptions of the Antrim coastline and a shopping trip with a grocer named Farr, who was proven to have existed. If some of her information was erroneous, it was not enough to discourage the new converts from adopting the existence of reincarnation and reveling in the possibilities. The idea of life not ending with death delighted hopeful Americans and reincarnation took up residence with a new cadre of believers.
Virginia Tighe, herself, disliked being in the spotlight and was skeptical about reincarnation, though in later years she remarked, “The older I get, the more I want to believe.” We know the feeling, Virginia. Tighe died in Denver in 1995, “perhaps for the second time,” as the New York Times put it. As the years passed, nonbelievers brought forth “Cryptomnesia” as an explanation for Tighe’s memories. More important, the Bridey Murphy phenomena brought forth a Scrooge McDuck comic book story called “Back to Long Ago,” in which Scrooge and Donald Duck get hypnotized to find out about their past lives and learn of their previous existence as sailors Malcom McDuck and Pintail Duck on a frigate of the British Navy in 1564. Thousands of children who had never heard of reincarnation assailed their parents with avid questions about the possibilities. Despite the quick dismissals of their elders, the notion took root in many young and fertile minds and never left. Later, many within the hippie revolution of the sixties and seventies embraced the concept of reincarnation due to their strong influence from Eastern religions like Hinduism and Buddhism, where the belief is a central tenet…and their interest in New Age spirituality, which often incorporated feelings of deja vu, karma and reincarnation.
William Jones once said, “I am no Hindu, but I hold the doctrine of the Hindus concerning a true state (rebirth) to be incomparably more rational, more pious, and more likely to deter men from vice than the horrid opinions inculcated by Christians of punishments without end.”
Henry David Thoreau added, “As far back as I can remember, I have unconsciously referred to the experiences of a previous state of existence.”
Walt Whitman: “I know I am deathless…we have thus far exhausted trillions of winters and summers. There are trillions ahead, and trillions ahead of them.”
And finally, Voltaire: “The doctrine of reincarnation is neither absurd nor useless. It is not more surprising to be born twice than once.”
Draw your own conclusions, esteemed Pie-eaters. There are no answers, only mysteries.
