All I Have To Do Is Dream (Felice and Boudleau Bryant)
When I want you in my arms,
When I want you and all your charms,
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Dream, dream, dream dream….
When I feel blue in the night
And I need you to hold me tight,
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Dream
I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine,
Anytime night or day;
Only trouble is, gee whiz,
I’m dreamin’ my life away.
I need you so that I could die,
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream.
Dreams
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.—William Dement
He’s not kidding. Where do some of these dreams come from? And why do the same—or similar—ones keep coming? I have a particular problem with the “lost car” dream. I have no idea why, because in real awake-type life I almost never lose my car. Oh, there was that time on the Florida Turnpike when, after a brief restroom interlude, I returned to the parking lot to find my car missing. Some bastard stole my car, I thought. I couldn’t believe it. I hustled up to this large black female security guard named Myakka, who didn’t seem overly busy.
“Myakka,” I said, somewhat alarmed, “some scurrilous slimeball has made off with my vehicle.” Myakka didn’t raise an eyebrow. She had obviously been here before.
“Are you sure you parked on the southbound side?” she asked. Well, um….no, not really. And when I went back to the other side, there it was in all its radiant splendor. I walked back to Myakka feeling a little foolish. She was as close to a smile as Myakka probably ever gets.
“Does this sort of thing happen often?” I asked, already aware of the answer.
“Every single day,” she said. “And more than once a day. Both sides look the same. People wander around and forget which entrance they came in.”
“Well, I’ll never do it again,” I told her.
“Yes you will.” But I haven’t. And if I do, I’m looking on both sides before I go and find Myakka.
Anyway, I am not a serial car loser. I have never had a car towed off for errant parking, although my friend, Mike Garcia, did once in New York City. Mike was highly offended and marched himself (and me) right down to City Hall, thinking Mayor Lindsay would promptly give it back to him. Mike worked for Florida Senator George Smathers in D.C. and had delusions of grandeur. After we finally got into City Hall, an adventure in itself (in those days, the suits thought a hippie uprising was imminent and security at places like N.Y. City Hall was incredible), Mike was politely greeted by the deputy mayor, who cast a dubious eye at his friend Bill, a possible hippie. The deputy mayor was very deferential to Mike, appreciated his affiliation with the good senator, but, by golly, there was just so much red tape involved in these car towings it might be a couple of days before he could get Mike’s silver phaeton freed up. All of this baloney made Mike happy. He went on down, paid his fine and retrieved his car, satisfied that his station in life had been acknowledged. But I digress.
We were talking about repetitive dreams, like my lost car dreams. I just seem to keep losing them. I go back to where I left them and they’re not there. I wander the area thinking, okay, maybe I’m a street or two off, but nope, no car anywhere. This has happened so many times that I have now managed to sneak a message to my dream self about the problem. Now when the latter begins to get frustrated he knows it is possible to simply wake up. This saves long minutes of teeth-gnashing and nervous tics. I highly recommend it.
The other ongoing frustrating dream I have is the “missed flight” dilemma, which, invariably, takes place somewhere in India or China, neither of which I have ever been to. I just can’t get to that damn airport in time, no matter what I do. And, let me tell you, it’s a loooong wait to the next flight. I’ve tried everything, but my dream self just can’t seem to get out of the house on time. And he’s also not getting the message about just waking up like the lost car avatar is. I’m thinking of cancelling all my subscriptions to travel magazines.
Why do we keep having the same dream? Why do we have any particular dream at all? Siobhan thinks every dream has its own meaning and you can patiently take the time to figure it all out. I don’t believe that for a minute. I think it’s all a funny little game that God plays on his meager creations when he gets bored or finds himself in a cynical state of mind. What do you think?
Where Dreams Come From (The New York Times)
Some scientists believe that the purpose of dreams is to help consolidate the memories and learning that took place the previous day. Others see dreams as a mechanism for allowing busy brain cells to recharge their depleted stocks of transmitter chemicals. There is no physiological support so far, however, for Freud’s view of dreams as repressed wishes, and psychoanalysts are for the most part busy trying to cut and trim their guru’s theory to the framework of modern findings.
It has long been known that sleep is governed by the balance between two opposed brain circuits, one of which produces transmitter chemicals that promote sleep, and the other chemicals that inhibit it. The circuits are locked in a continuous see-saw tussle with one another. Depending on which has gained the upper hand, the brain is switched from sleep to wakefulness and back again.
Sleep is marked by about four periods a night when the sleeper’s eyes move rapidly under the lids. It is during these periods, known as rapid eye movement, or REM sleep, that dreams occur.
REM sleep is brought on by waves of nervous activity that begin in the brainstem, the top of the spinal cord where it juts into the brain, and travel up to the geniculate nucleus, a region of the higher brain where visual input from the eyes is processed.
Since these sleep-inducing waves thus activate the visual-processing parts of the brain, it is not surprising that dreams are primarily visual in nature. The first stream of brainstem waves usually begins about 90 minutes after the onset of sleep, and the fourth or last about 30 minutes before waking up. During each of these REM periods, the brain is even more active than it is while awake. But because the muscles are paralyzed, the body lies quietly in bed.
Interpreting Dreams
You’ll probably be shocked to discover that there are several nice, helpful people on the internet who will take time out of their busy days to interpret your dreams for you. Oh, they may charge a modest fee but what’s a few bucks compared to the utter elation you’ll feel when you discover that last night’s dream about a goat stampede through your local cemetery was your dear aunt Ruthie’s attempt to allay your regrets about handing her over to the nursing home people. We particularly fell under the spell of the site, Psychic Dreamland, which promises FREE dream interpretation using a “dream symbol dictionary.” Or you could just get on the good side of Siobhan, who will explain your dreams to you if you will merely put up in your yard advertising signs for her EPM drug, Oroquin-10. This offer is only made, however, to those of you who live on paved roads.
Okay, say you don’t live on a paved road and you decide to take the Psychic Dreamland route. I just did this and the Psychic Dreamland people told me it would first be necessary, for some unknown reason, to fill out an information blank asking me if I would prefer (a) free lunch for a year at Taco Bell, or (b) a Cadillac CTS Coupe. I am not a big genius, but this looked like a trick question to me. I’m not sure I want my private dreams being interpreted by people who would ask questions like this so I signed off, but this is no reason for the rest of you not to pursue the matter. Let me know how you make out. We will continue with this dream business in future posts but we’re running out of time and space today and we don’t want to forget one of our old friends.
Mitt Romney Is Now Trailing Charles Manson In The Polls
How can you have ten gazillion dollars, a formidable campaign organization in every state and no opponents of consequence and still be losing ground in the polls weighing the Republican presidential nomination? That’s what Mitt wants to know, too:
MITT (to campaign manager Matt Rhoades): Geez, Matt, what the hell is goin’ on? First, Rick Perry gets ahead of us and we spend a fortune sliming him. Then, it’s Herman Caine and we have to run around digging up all those old girlfriends. After that, Newt comes along and gets ahead of us—how could we possible fall behind Newt, for Christ’s sake? Now we’ve got goddam Rick Santorum leading the polls! And nobody even knows who he IS! What’s going on?
MATT: Well, Governor, it’s mostly just that everybody thinks you’re a big hypocrite who will say or do anything to win. It’s nothing personal.
MITT: Yeah, but I’ve always been a big hypocrite and I was LEADING before! I was twenty points ahead of this guy!
MATT: Well, sir, it’s mostly those tea party people. They keep coalescing around different candidates as the other guys fall out of it. Now that Santorum’s the only viable guy left, they’re all getting behind him.
MITT: Well, what can we DO? I can feel the presidency slipping away. Don’t we have anything on this guy? No sex? No drugs? No rock ‘n’ roll?
MATT: No sir, he seems above reproach.
MITT: Well, John Kerry was above reproach and that didn’t stop Karl Rove from swiftboating him. Can’t we give Karl a call?
MATT: I’ll get right on it, Governor.
So if you see anything come up in the next few days suggesting ovine molestation in the Santorum camp or maybe a photoshopped snapshot of Santorum enjoying a brie-and-salmon lunch with Elton John, you’ll know where it came from. Remember, you read it here first.
And that’s all, folks….
