Act I---Louisville Slogging
“All things considered, I’d rather be in Philadelphia.”---Bill Killeen
Most large organizations similar to the American College of Veterinary Internal Medicine like to have their annual conferences in places like Tahoe, Las Vegas and Orlando so there will be plenty to do in the off hours, spouses will come along and attendance will be boosted. So Lucy, you have some ‘splainin’ to do. Why in the wide, wide world of sports are we slugging it out in pedestrian Louisville? Sure, there’s the celebrated Bourbon Trail Tour, but then what? When, oh when, is the fabulous Korea Fiber Art Festival returning to town?
Siobhan P. Ellison, microbiologist, veterinarian, researcher and the world’s greatest authority on Equine Protozoal Myeloencephalitis was invited to lecture on her subject by the EPM Society of the ACVIM at its June bash in Derby City. “It would be rude not to go,” she said. Reasonable enough. On close inspection, however, a friend pointed out that the awesome and exciting Mammoth Cave was just a skosh over a one-hour drive south. “Throw in that big boy and you’ve got yourself a deal,” he said. And the trip was on.
The meeting was held at the Louisville Convention Center and the Marriott Hotel across the street. We stayed next door at the pricey Hyatt Regency, a two-minute walk to the ballroom where Siobhan would speak. All I can say about the Hyatt is contained in my review, which they pleaded for and I sent:
“First, the room was freezing-ass cold no matter what you did to the thermostat. Second, the language-challenged folks at the front desk took a lot of convincing that Bill and William were the same person. Third, the overnight parking rates would be excessive even for the Hotel California. Fourth, the in-house Sway restaurant must have had prayer hour immediately after I gave the waiter my order since the food didn’t come back til decades later. But hey---the location is to die for. Is that enough?”
I got a nice note back from the management telling me my review would be published in their little online collection. Just for fun, I checked the first twelve pages and it wasn’t there. What ever happened to comic relief? At least they could have sent me some thin mints.
Suffice to say the talk went well for the ten percent of observers who could follow Dr. Ellison’s thoughtful remarks. This is typical. When we went to the campuses of Bayer and Schering-Plough, they brought a dozen people into the room and perhaps two of them could follow her reckoning. They hired her anyway, on faith. “Just give me the reins and step aside,” she says. It usually works out pretty well. We didn’t send out any postcards saying Having a Wonderful Time---Wish You Were Here!
Just Passing Through
After the meeting, we hopped into our Volkswagen compact, which Enterprise insisted was an upgrade, and moseyed down the road to Keeneland and The Kentucky Castle near lovely Lexington, which is all the things Louisville is not. The Keeneland grounds were in the midst of a revamping upheaval but we managed to visit the iconic jockey statues near the saddling paddock before the security patrol recognized our offense and threw us out.
The Kentucky Castle started its sketchy career back in 1969 when Rex Martin and his wife Caroline, inspired by their recent trip to Germany, decided a castle was just the thing Kentucky needed. The finished product was intended to have seven bedrooms, fifteen bathrooms, a fountain and a tennis court. Alas, their marriage foundered in 1975 and the castle was left unfinished, an odd configuration of blocks staring out at passers-by on Route 60 between Lexington and Versailles…another roadside attraction, subject to all kinds of scary rumors. In 1988, Rex finally got around to putting it on the market, but died before it was sold to one Thomas R. Post, a wealthy Miami property tax lawyer, in 2003.
The new owner thought it would be a cute touch to name the place “Castle Post” and keep it as a personal trinket, a terrible disappointment to the locals who aspired to its eventual reincarnation as a medieval-themed restaurant or museum where they could marry off their progeny. Then, in May of 2004, after months of renovations, disaster struck the castle. Newly-installed woodwork and wiring caught fire in the main building, causing significant damage. Poor old Tommy Post---fortunately still living in Miami and not his beloved castle---vowed to rebuild, a testimony to the assets of property tax lawyers. Approximately twice the castle’s original cost went toward the renovation project, which was completed in 2008. New additions included twelve luxury suites, a library, game room, music parlor, dining hall, ballroom, swimming pool, formal garden, basketball court, bar, tennis court and eight maids a-milking. The castle became a tourist inn, perhaps the only place in the country where you can get a bedroom in a turret. Rapunzel, where are you---all is forgiven.
Currently, The Kentucky Castle is owned by the THC Hospitality Group, led by Wes Henderson, which purchased the place in 2023. It operates as a luxury hotel with spa services and, to the great delight of Kentuckians, hosts various other events like weddings, corporate dinners and goat yoga seminars (you think we’re kidding). There is even a holiday brunch with the Lexington Ballet. If you’re going, bring your crown and scepter, there’s an Adirondack chair by the front gate for picture-taking. Forgot your tiara? No problem, there’s a wide selection at bargain prices in the castle bookshop.
Would you like to swing on a star…carry moonbeams home in a jar…and be better off than you are…or would you rather be a KING? Step right up, we’ve got your robe and slippers!
Cave City, U.S.A.
You know we’re goin’ to Cave City, gonna have some fun…
Two caves for every boy!”---Jan & Dean
An hour’s ride and one time zone southwest of Louisville lies the quiet hamlet of Cave City, population 2,300. The part you’ll notice is at the intersection of Interstate 65 and Mammoth Cave Road, where all the hotels are, where the Cracker Barrel is and where the billboards tempt a kid to demand a stop at Dinosaur World just around the corner. “Wander among hundreds of life-sized dinos in a natural setting!” screams the advertising for what amounts to be a glorified rock shop. But there’s more to Cave City than a hasty observer might notice.
Visit with Eric, the young and gentle soul who presides over the local Hampton Inn and you’ll find a friendly, unassuming Cave City native typical of the area. “I like it here,” smiles Eric, leaning forward on his desk. “I left, but soon came back. The people are friendly here, good honest people who love this place, know each other, quick to help one another out. No crime, no petty foolishness. It’s the same in the surrounding area…a nice part of the world to spend your time, however much of it you have.”
He’s right. The setting is verdant, an exceptional green, with gentle hills, well-cared-for homes and yards and absolutely pristine roadsides. In three days there and plenty of back-and-forth driving, we didn’t see one piece of litter, not so much as a Snickers bar wrapper or an errant cigarette butt. A short drive to nearby Horse Cave, almost a twin city, bore the same fruit. The people who live there mostly stay or leave and return, like Eric, and they take care of their tiny bit of the Earth.
A fortyish fellow named Red Bull (“four cans a day”) who works at all three major hotels at the main intersection expounds on appreciating hard work. “I guess I go overboard working but it’s something I like to do, like the rest of my family. It’s no picnic putting in all the hours, but I’ve been able to save to buy a house and help out the family. I like meeting the travelers who come in here for breakfast, listening to their stories. I might try out some of those vacation places they talk about but I’ll never leave home. Most of the people in these little towns around here were born here and see no need to leave. It’s beautiful here and there’s plenty of agriculture to make a living.”
You get it…you pick up the vibe even if you barely pay attention. There is a sense of community, which we see less and less these days, a harmony, little anger or intolerance, not much appetite to argue, a live-and-let-live disposition. You travel to some places and ask the locals about their town and get a blank stare. In Cave City, they know everything and are happy to talk about it. The antithesis of judgmental, the exact ideal of human. Cave City, U.S.A. A person could do much worse than stake his claim there.
Spelunking/by cave goddess Siobhan P. Ellison
“I must go down in the ground again, to the lonely hole in the limestone.”---W.T. “Burrowing Bill” Killeen
Our first cave exploration was in one of the two Ape Caves near Mt. St Helens, Washington in August of 2017. The Ape Caves are lava tubes, the second most common type of cave. The most common type of cave is the solution or karst cave. Karst is distinctive terrain that is shaped by dissolving soluble bedrock, usually limestone, by slightly acid water. This natural process creates distinctive landforms on the surface and underground. The underground formations include sinkholes, caves, springs, and disappearing streams.
Kentucky’s geology lends itself to caves because it has large areas of soluble limestone and other carbonate rocks. It is part of a region called the Central Kentucky Karst. Acidic rainwater percolates through the rock and as it dissolves, cracks and fissures form. Eventually passages and caverns are hollowed out, sinkholes form and underground rivers continue the process. Caves are not static, they are dynamic and even though some formed over millions of years they are still changing today. Cavern shapes can be long and tortuous or they can be tall towers.
The Mammoth Cave self-guided tour, a good warmup, enters through the Historic Entrance where you are greeted with startlingly cool air; that is the cave breathing out. The cave exchanges air every 24 to 48 hours; the cool air is pulled out by the ambient and warmer air at the mouth of the cave. In winter the opposite is true, cooler air outside sinks into the cave displacing the warm air. The warmth of humans and the moisture from breathing affects the cave and there are monitors to warn Rangers if the delicate ecosystem will be damaged. The cave tolerates thousands of visitors a year but it is delicately balanced, holding a steady temperature of 55 degrees. Before you can enter you are warned about white nose syndrome, a deadly fungal disease affecting hibernating bats. It is caused by Pseudogymnoascus destructans and can decimate 90% of a colony. To enter another cave that doesn’t have the fungus requires a change of clothes and a disinfected backpack. The Rangers seemed a bit cavalier about this disease that has killed millions of insect-eating bats in 40 states and some provinces in Canada. We were entering the cave in the summer, so no bats were present.
The walls of Mammoth Cave are limestone slabs, rough from ground water erosion and fracturing that started 10-15 million years ago, the resulting debris littering the sides of the tube. Most of the passages were formed by 2 million years ago and continue today in the lower levels. The Green River provides a base level for the water to drain and contributes to the continued formation of the lower passages. Sandstone and shale form the caves caprock and comprise the arch-shaped ceiling, best for preventing spontaneous collapses. The caverns are 50 feet high and in some rooms are closer to 200 feet; the width could comfortably accommodate a 4 stall barn.
The winding passages of the cave were carved by flowing waters that often formed blind alleys or narrow shafts to the levels below. Mammoth Cave is dark, punctuated with artificial lighting highlighting artifacts of human encroachment. Native Americans used the caves as long as 4,000 years ago, mining minerals (gypsum) by cane reed torchlight and as a burial ground. There are no remnants of the early occupants except a few mummified remains that have been moved several times and ultimately transferred to the Smithsonian Institution, taking the last trace of the indigenous people. We saw evidence of the saltpeter mining (for gun powder in 1812) and the last stone mini-house for an experimental tuberculosis hospital. There are numerous names written in candle smoke in the cave. We know Luther Ewing left his mark in 1874. There is also graffiti from years ago when it wasn’t a felony to mark one’s travels.
The Extended Historic Modified Tour, everybody’s favorite, is a moderately difficult 2 mile loop hike with 540 stairs. This hike takes two and a quarter hours and goes down to 340 feet underground. The hike is along well maintained wide pathways and mostly has non-slick stairs but at one point the trail descends into cramped quarters called Fat Man’s Misery. This is a winding, keyhole shaped passage about 100 feet long. The lower part of the keyhole is as wide as a sylph’s hips and widens to about 5 feet overhead with intermittent, head- scalping walls. At the end, there is a 20 foot section where the floor rises, requiring one to stoop. An additional challenge is a very slick pseudo-step up at one point. Of course, the light is very dim.
The cave is quiet but doesn’t echo. Occasionally, one can hear a moderate flow of water as it makes its way from the surface to the outside through the rocks and voids. Other points along the path are bottomless pits covered with grates you can traverse and rooms with 200 foot towers carved smooth by slow moving subterranean waters. Sometimes there is a green hue caused by algae, moss, and bacteria that is called lampenflora which grows near the artificial lights. After descending five levels of the cave tunnel, there are stairs marked with water levels. The cave rarely floods but in 1975 the water reached to the fifth step in the ascending staircase. However, in April of 2025 there was historic flooding with the water rising to ten feet above the floor, marked on the staircase with a pink ribbon. The flood represents the level of the water table to which the entering water from above flows. It might be a good idea to visit this historic national park soon since global warming is going to negatively impact the cave by increased flooding, changes in cave temperature, and disruption of the ecosystem. The delicate formations will be forever changed by ignoring global warming, leaving future generations to observe our impact in the 2020’s.
Another visit was to the privately owned Crystal Onyx Cave several miles east of Mammoth Cave. This is a proper cave sporting speleothems. Speleothems are stalactites or stalagmites formed in solution caves by the deposition of minerals in the water that drips from the terrain above. We arrived just in time for the half mile tour that takes about an hour. This cave is a constant 58 degrees and starts with descent into a sinkhole newly outfitted with crushed limestone paths, metal steps and handrails. Looking up at the ceiling, you could see the track of the river that had contributed to this cave. Each formation in Crystal Onyx Cave has a name: there is the obligatory Alien Room with Norman, the stalagmite you can touch. This is a dead formation, created by an unknown tectonic plate that shifted and moved Norman a few feet from under his sustaining drip from the ceiling. Without continued input from above, Norman died after existing and growing for thousands of years. There is also a Cat Room, the Potato Patch and the Great Room. Our guide was Ian and his monologue was terrific and informative, with mannerisms oddly similar to all the other cave guides. We were told that there was a period of cave wars when competing interests would enter the caves damaging and destroying speleothems. Some of the larger damaged forms near the path were cut horizontally, polished and the rings made visible, reminiscent of tree rings. Another formation called “cave bacon” was formed by lateral movement of minerals containing water, making the curtain-like stalactites. To qualify as bacon, light has to pass through the formation. These formations are facilitated by the slope of the tunnel. When our guide backlit the bacon, the vertical striations were visible. The size of some of these formations was spectacular. Although we didn’t see them, the cave hosts cave salamanders, cave crickets and cave beetles. The cave crickets eat plant material, fungi, mold, cave beetles and other crickets. Cave beetles eat cave cricket eggs exacting revenge on the cave crickets. We were treated to a light show when Ian demonstrated the effects of different light sources. The first was flame, used by early spelunkers. Lamps were dimmer but more reliable. Black light was unique and revealed the fluorescence of some of the rock’s minerals. The fluorescence decayed slowly by seconds so images could be “written” on the floor.
Our third cave experience was Diamond Caverns located inside Mammoth Cave National Park. Despite huge billboards claiming the Cavern was just a mile up on the left it was difficult to find. MapQuest got us there but it is spotty in the area. Diamond Cave has paved pathways, handrails, and 350 steps with the difficulty tagged as strenuous… however it is so beautiful you hardly notice the effort.
In 1811, saltpeter mining was going on in Mammoth Cave. Along a long narrow sink hole valley nearby, mining was also active in Long Cave and Short Cave. An unknown wonder lay beneath. Near the road to Mammoth Cave, in 1859 a slave of landowner Jessie Coats discovered a pit. He tied a rope around his son’s waist and lowered him into the hole. When pulled up, the child said all he saw was diamonds, many diamonds. What he really saw was sparkling calcite formations but his name stuck. A survey team arrived, built steps, and constructed a building around the entrance. These efforts led to the pristine condition of the cave. The cave became an immediate tourist attraction, the slave leading many tours over 40 years.
After changing hands multiple times due to the Civil War and dwindling tourism, Diamond Cave received few visitors but it became a destination in 1904 when automobiles braved the bad roads to the site. In 1921, an oil driller made a new entrance into Mammoth Cave and with 17 active cave attractions in the area the cave wars and destruction of speleothems resulted. Lights were added in 1917 and seven years later concrete steps were added. Over the next 50 years, Diamond Cave tours prospered due to marketing by an influential fellow named Dr. Edward A. Rowsey. More caverns were discovered and explored in 1936 and became part of the tour. After being bought and sold many more times, five cavers and their wives bought the property in 1999. When two of the purchasers began removing surface rocks from a crevice in the back yard, the bottom fell out revealing a shaft that led to 250 feet of undiscovered passages. The crawlway was enlarged and led to the largest room in Diamond Caverns. This area remains undeveloped and pristine with restricted access. There are legal implications if Diamond Caverns is part of the Mammoth Cave system. Kaden, our guide, was evasive when asked if it wasn’t logical that these tunnels were really part of the longest mapped cave system in the world.
It is here we learned of three time periods that formed Diamond Caverns. First, limestone was laid down, the cave passages were carved by underground streams in the second period, and in the third period, calcite formed. The prevalence of limestone means that Kentucky was once under a warm, shallow sea south of the equator. The sea creatures used calcium carbonate for their shells and the shells accumulated as the creatures died. Over a long time, the shells’ fossils became ooze and the ooze compressed into limestone. It is a slow process; each foot of limestone represents 40,000 years. When you descend the steps into Diamond Caverns, each step takes you back 23,000 years. The walls of Diamond Caverns took 4 million years to form. About 10 million years ago, Kentucky was in the northern hemisphere and above sea level. When it rained, the rain made its way to the oceans. In areas with a limestone bedrock, the water took a shorter route to the ocean by seeping through tiny cracks in the stone ending up near a river. It continues this seeping today.
The water dissolves the rock because raindrops collect carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and collect even more carbon dioxide from the soil. The water and carbon dioxide form carbonic acid that dissolves limestone. As the limestone dissolves, the cracks enlarge, more water enters and the cracks get even larger. It takes 50,000 years to dissolve enough limestone to make a crawlway for a human to fit. Ten million years ago, a trickle of water became a major underground river and by about 2 million years ago continental glaciers impacted the flow of the rivers and the cave filled with sediment. The clue to this event is the presence of gravel stuck high up in the ceiling of Diamond Caverns. The glaciers cycled between advancing and retreating, letting the cave stream wash out the sediment. As more carbonic acid dripped into the caverns, the acid lost some carbon dioxide to the air and the less potent solvent couldn’t keep the dissolved limestone in solution. The minerals crystallized forming calcite and calcite was deposited on the ceiling, floor, and walls of the cave.
A drip from the ceiling may form a stalactite. Water dripping from the ceiling may form a stalagmite on the floor, and if the drip is from an overhanging wall then a thin ribbon or calcite drapery is formed. These very thin drapery formations are called bacon formations if light can shine through them. If water seeps into the cave and evaporation is at the same rate, the formation is called popcorn for obvious reasons. Geologists have dated a stalagmite that is about 9 inches tall. The youngest part at the top is 170,000 years old and the bottom 306,000 years old.
We observed bacon, drapery, and popcorn formations in vast caverns. We went down and up the stairs and walked the gently winding pathways. We saw areas vandalized by the cave wars and scarred by signatures dating back to the 1850s. In one “room” weddings were held and a stone with a cross commemorates the area. In some areas the walls looked green due to the light-loving algae and molds. There were pools and great columns and bottomless pits. Kaden told us it doesn’t flood in Diamond Caverns but if there is a good sized rainstorm it will trickle down to the low level of the cave through the porous rock and get the tour wet. The closest underground stream is Hawkins River that runs 150 feet underground. The cave is continuing to form and change but the changes are microscopic and won’t be apparent for many thousands of years.
On our final day, we were tired and muscle-sore from our adventures, but surprisingly alert with a sense of wellbeing as we climbed the steps out of the cave to beat all caves. Some think the caves have restorative powers and maybe this is a tiny bit true. In this region of Kentucky, it is easy to believe (as the guides hint) that the caves are all ultimately connected to one another. After days in their fascinating bellies, perhaps we, ourselves, become in some arcane way connected to the caves. Hopefully, human sanity will ultimately prevail and these wondrous places, singular in their magnificence, will be spared for the rest of Time. If not, well…we had our day in the shade.
That’s all, folks….
