“We got trouble, folks, right here in River City, trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with D and that stands for Dimwits.”---Mr. Natural
So now the Beast arrives as was foretold in the gospels and his worshippers flock to him. He has made their basest instincts respectable like never before and they rise like wildflowers in the desert after a first rain. In previous times, they were embarrassed to display their hatred for niggers, spics, queers, ragheads, kikes and tree huggers, but the Beast has made it all acceptable. Burn, baby, burn, in the truest sense of the word. Where can we buy one of those neat sheets with eyeholes?
But the True Believers are not enough. To rule the world, the Beast must recruit the lazy, the foggybrained, the weakminded who’ll do anything to be popular with the crowd. “I try to stay out of politics” is the chant of the cowardly. They’ll leave all their thinking to their pastor, Fox News or the loudmouth on the corner. More recruits for the Beast, but still not enough. He needs the critical Undecided Vote.
You hear it over and over again. “I just can’t make up my mind” between Attila, the Scourge of God and Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. Yeah, it’s a real poser, that one. Is your brain made of spaghetti squash? There is reliable information out there in the world and it’s not difficult to discover who is the shit and who’s the shinola. Make an effort.
Oh, but what about those creepy immigrants and the economy? The economy is just fine, thank you, and a Congressional panel led by a conservative Republican wrote an immigration bill satisfactory to everyone but the Beast, who squashed it because it didn’t suit his purposes. Let’s get real here---all this talk about policy is just so much fluff. The Beast is in it for power and glory and money. The Beast is in it to stay out of jail. And that’s where he’ll put you if you don’t get out of the way.
The real sermon on the mount is this:
“Assholes of the world unite! This is the best chance you’ll ever have to shoot a few deviants, lock up the liberals, put women back in their place and royally piss off George Clooney. If we have to rip up a few Constitutions to do it, too bad. Just follow me! Onward to glory! Oops, just one second while I bugger this pangender floozie….”
And hey, Puerto Ricans---have they got a deal for YOU!
