Reflecting on Life After The Last Tango is bittersweet. The Life Force evident at that assembly was fierce and the years melted away as if by magic as guests entered the rarefied air of the fairgrounds. Not a soul was seventy years old that day in May, the arena was filled with Mr. Bo Jangles’ and Dancing Queens, only seventeen.
Over the course of the day, some people came, some went, but the True Believers stayed the course because Love was in the air. An overindulgent young lady grabbed me around the waist, asking and answering her own question: “Who wrote The Book of Love, Bill? News bulletin---you did!”
By the time Tom Shed stood the crowd up to the strains of Auld Lang Syne, the celebrants knew they’d experienced a Special Moment, a rare day when nothing interfered with harmony and good feelings, an indescribable walk on the mild side where brotherhood was in flower and noone worried about tomorrow.
How do we keep this feeling, people wondered….how do we do this again? There are no easy answers. But one thing most of us have learned and continue to recognize is that holding to the shallow offerings of life, the glossy material artifice is like writing with invisible ink. Before you know it, all the evidence of fripperies has vanished and what remains is only the content of one’s soul. Those of us who were there know that now even better than we did before and we wrap that knowledge in a spiritual shroud and stash it in a secret vault for safekeeping, to be brought out in times of weakness and duress.
The Reunion is over but the Reunion lives as long as we do. Keep the Lovelight glowing and take good care. The good Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, we’ll see you for one colossal encore in Bill’s 85th birthday year, 2026. Maybe we’ll call it The Last Waltz. In any case, don’t stop truckin’ now. It ain’t over til it’s over.
Rockin’ On
When you’re 81 years of age, you don’t plan too far ahead. But maybe you should. Having a great big bauble on the horizon is an inducement to march toward it at whatever pace we can manage. Septuagenarians need that carrot on a stick, Octogenarians aspire to a gaudy oasis. The enemy, of course, is frailty.
Advances in education, science, public health, medicine and the biology of aging in recent years are all factors contributing to longer lifespans. These advances are so numerous that some scientists believe a “cure” for aging will be unearthed in the not too distant future.
In pursuit of this goal, scientists are zeroing in on “senescent cells,” aging cells that stop dividing and making new cells. Instead, they linger, releasing chemicals that are unhelpful to the functioning of normal cells and cause inflammation. While senescent cells increase with age, recent experiments have shown they can be removed from mice in laboratory settings, which could one day lead to treatments that offer longer lifespans to humans.
Scientist Andrew Steele, author of “Ageless: The New Science of Getting Older Without Getting Old,” believes it’s possible that some people who are alive today could live to be 120 or older. “I think the potential is there for far more exciting breakthroughs by targeting the aging process rather than particular diseases,” Steele told CNBC.
Other studies on aging are ongoing. One of them examined subjects’ blood to search for telltale biological markers of aging. The researchers who conducted the study were so encouraged by their findings they are convinced it may be possible for disease-free humans who live in stress-free environments to live for up to 150 years. Of course, hopeful elderfolk can’t be swilling down Maragritas and rolling down the Colorado on inflatable rafts. Petitioners are recommended to latch onto some healthy habits like these:
Enhancing The Odds
Everyone knows the basic drill. The best chance for longevity resides with adopting daily habits compatible with good health; a daily walking routine; a high-quality diet; 30 minutes a day of moderate to vigorous physical activity; maintaining a healthy body weight; avoiding large amounts of alcohol; not smoking. According to a 2018 Harvard study, just incorporating the above five habits increases life expectancy by TEN goddam years. Almost anyone can do it. Add a couple of servings of fruit and three vegetables a day and you might live as long as Bill. Other research suggests easy-as-pie actions like taking a 20 minute nap every day and accumulating at least three close friends you can count on for emotional support. If you’re one short, call Will Thacker, Florida’s leading empath; he’ll cry with you when you’re sad and laugh with you when you’re glad. Nobody’s glum for long while riding Will’s Jolly Jitney. And as a bonus, he’ll remove snakes from your garage and bats from your belfry. Feel free to call at any hour.
If you’re even more gung-ho than the citizens of the category above, have a CBC and a Lipid Profile done twice a year to head off trouble at the pass. Try to sleep seven hours a night. Sit less. If you’re a man, especially one who no longer has a prostate, consider testosterone---not just as a sex booster but for several other reasons like helping maintain bone density, aiding with fat distribution, increasing muscle strength and red blood cell production. Weekly injections are best and a small amount is all that’s necessary. Bill’s been taking it for 30 years and he’s still climbing mountains. Shorter ones these days, but still…
Siobhan is an advocate for a product called Nature’s Harvest, a blend of green whole foods, herbs, enzymes and vegetable protein. She says it’s the best single thing we can ingest in a given day and she’s smarter than most of us, so we listen. You simply dump a spoonful in a blender, mix with Gatorade or orange juice and voila!---in less than a minute, you’re on your way.
For the last three years, Bill has been taking Qualia, a comprehensive supplement designed to promote better aging. The team of researchers, scientists and doctors who created the product blended 36 ingredients into a product which aims to support your cells’ ability to create more energy. Qualia is expensive and requires the user to glug down 8 sizable capsules a day, five days a week. “You don’t notice any big changes,” reports Mr. Killeen, “I take it largely on faith, like Christians do God. I tried God for 17 years and He was even more demanding than Qualia.
Don't Worry--Be Happy
People born in the United States today can expect to live to an average age of 79, which sounds good until you’re 78. A century ago, however, life expectancy was closer to 54. If you fiftyish folks think you’ve got a midlife crisis now, ponder on that for awhile. Anyway, a blind otter can see what a difference a century makes. A gain of another 25 years would bring the average age up close to 105 by 2120, and that’s without herculean efforts. How long might the outliers live….120 years….150? More important, what can we do now to hang around until The Absolutely Very Last Tango, Cross My Fingers, Hope To Die in the year 2050? We know the basic tips, let’s hear from the Twilight Zone.
1. Be optimistic. Easier said than done, right? Too bad because Harvard research fellows Kaitlin Hagan and Erick Kim found that the most optimistic women were 29% less likely to die early than the least optimistic. When the researchers broke it down by disease, the optimistic women were 38% less likely to die of cardiovascular disease and 16% less likely to die of cancer.
2. Don’t Worry, Be Happy. A study in the Proceedings of the Natural Sciences found that participants were 35% less likely to die early if they reported feeling happy during the average day. “We expected a link between happiness and longevity,” said Andrew Steptoe, lead author of the study, “but we were struck by how strong the effect was.” Laughter, itself, has some serious physical benefits, among them giving the laughers a lower risk for heart disease. When you laugh, your heart, lungs and muscles receive more oxygen, circulation is stimulated and your muscles relax. It also improves your immune system and decreases pain.
3. Facebook Friends. No kidding. Once more citing the PNS, “Among those who use social media, overall network size is associated with better health. People who have more friends online are less likely to die early than their disconnected counterparts.” This is not necessarily the case if you hook up with Randall Roffe, though.
4. Drink Coffee. A study in the New England Journal of Medicine found that coffee is definitely good for your health and can lead to a longer life. And the more coffee you drink, the less likely you are to die from heart disease, respiratory illness, stroke or diabetes. A study in Circulation found an association between coffee and a longer life in those individuals who drink one to five cups a day. Those coffee drinkers were less likely to die of heart disease, neurological disease or suicide. People like Bill Killeen say better drink whatever amount before noon because people who don’t sleep at night die even sooner than abstainers.
5. Be Japanese and Live in Japan. Can’t help much with that one, folks.
The Centenarians
Ambitious biohackers like Dave Asprey are using extreme treatments like stem cell therapy in the hope of doubling their life expectancy. Longevity gurus like Dmitry Kaminsky claim that the technology to achieve radical life extension is far from being a fairy tale: “It’s either already here or very close.”
From hyperbaric chambers through gene hacking to blue light blockers, biohacking has grabbed headlines in the last decade for both its alluring promise of long life and the sci-fi style treatments its proponents recommend. A 46-year-old bodybuilder named Kris Gethin claims to have almost halved his biological age through techniques like intermittent fasting and wearing underwear that blocks electromagnetic frequencies.
“I don’t have any doubts that I will reach 123 years old,” Gethlin says. With the aim of promoting healthy longevity, he has promised to give a cool million to the first man or woman to outlive the world’s oldest person on record, Jeanne Clermont who died at 122. Kaminsky preaches that in five years there will be enough computer data to provide more reliable forecasting. “Living to 123,” he postulates, is absolutely realistic.”
One hundred twenty-three years is not good enough for James Strole, who wants to live forever. Now 73, Strole has spent much of his life trying to find cures for aging and ultimately, death. optimizing his body through techniques like cleanses, fasts, blood transfusions and skin patches. “Let’s put it this way,” he advises, “I’ll do anything I feel safe with. To be clear, we’re talking about living with vitality and vigor. We’re talking about getting better all the time, not living in some decrepit state.”
So far, so good. James Strole is still 6-4 and of stellar weight with glossy grey hair. He has no serious health deficits and continues to be very active. It may turn out that his regimen is effective, but then again, perhaps he has just won a sort of genetic lottery which expires at 80 or 90. What if his long-sought breakthrough doesn’t arrive in time….what if he’s left standing on the corner in Winslow, Arizona and the girl, my lord, in a flatbed Ford doesn’t show up?
“Well, I guess I’d be in a little bit of hot water,” Stole smiles. “But I’d rather be in the game, trying to break on through to the other side than sitting on the bench, watching my life go by. Rage, rage against the dying of the light….that sort of thing.”
Dylan Thomas said it best:
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”.
That’s all, folks.
