California Chrome
Okay, so maybe it’s a smidge early—but if somebody gave me a big bag of money and pointed me towards Las Vegas (and frankly, I’m a little miffed that somebody has not) with instructions to place it all on one horse to win the 2014 Kentucky Derby, I’m afraid I would have to drop it all on California Chrome. To say this horse has been impressive is like saying Heidi Klum is an okay blind date. His win by 7 1/4 lengths in the March 8 San Felipe Stakes at Santa Anita in 1:40 2/5 (the track record is 1:39) over a modest field was one thing. Any good horse can have a big day. His followup victory by 5 1/4 in the Santa Anita Derby on April 5 firmly established his credentials. Everyone east of California will pose the age-old question—“Who did he beat?”—and that’s a valid query. The West coast challengers were not a bunch of Seattle Slews, though Bob Baffert’s Hoppertunity and John Sadler’s Candy Boy were well-regarded winners of their previous starts. The latter went off at odds of 2.60 to one, so there’s that. What you have to like about California Chrome, however, is the manner in which he carries himself and the ease with which he dispatches his foes. Nobody has put the pedal to this horse’s metal yet and he is blowing the competition away. Granted, Santa Anita is a very different racetrack from Churchill Downs, home of the Derby, and the California horse will not be meeting Larry, Moe and Curly in Kentucky. We have all been impressed before by Derby contenders who win for fun in the preliminaries, where they must defeat two or three good horses. In the Kentucky Derby, there are twenty contenders who have earned their spots in the starting gate with good performances….and that’s what makes it the magnificent race that it is.
The Rest Of The Story
As usual, there will be a lot of speed in the Derby, perhaps compromising the chances of contenders like California Chrome and opening the race up for closers like Wicked Strong (the name ‘Boston Strong’ was taken), impressive winner of Aqueduct’s esteemed Wood Memorial by 3 1/2 lengths over highly-regarded Samraat and favorite Social Inclusion. No doubt about his ability to get the Derby distance.
Cairo Prince, upset as the favorite in the Florida Derby, his first start of 2014, is very talented. He ranged up nicely on the outside of the far turn in his last race before flattening out and finishing fourth. With that one under his belt, he should be double-tough next time out. Hard to understand the dearth of starts for this horse leading up to the Florida Derby. If he wins in Kentucky, his trainer is a genius. If he loses, which is more likely, his trainer is a bum.
Constitution beat our pal, Wildcat Red, in the Florida Derby and is undefeated in four lifetime starts so he is obviously pretty good. The four lifetime starts might be an issue, however. Racing experience is critical in a race like the Derby, where shit happens, and it helps if you’ve seen it before. Constitution comes from behind and it’s bound to be pretty busy back there. Still, he has the talent and, if he can stay out of trouble, he has a chance.
We’d like to tell you Wildcat Red has a big shot but he’s in tough. Red likes to go to the front and if you’re going to do that in this race, you’d better be Spend A Buck. The Wildcat, a Florida-bred, was caught from behind in the mile-and-an-eighth Florida Derby and the Kentucky version is a mile-and-a-quarter.
Candy Boy, well-beaten by California Chrome in the Santa Anita Derby, has a better opportunity here. In the earlier race, rider Gary Stevens felt he could not let the favorite get away from him and tried to keep his horse close. We don’t think that’s Candy Boy’s game, though. In this race, he can sit back and let someone else put the pressure on the front-runners, attacking late. He looks to be able to get the mile-and-a-quarter, but we’ll see.
Vicar’s In Trouble, the redoubtable Rosie Napravnik up, is a Louisiana-bred, not a breed known for winning the Kentucky Derby. He was very impressive winning the one in Louisiana, though, even though that race might be a mirage. Rosie gave him a perfect trip in his last race, something unlikely in a 20-horse cavalry charge. Also might have distance limitations.
Danza, who nobody ever heard of, came out of nowhere to win the Arkansas Derby by a ton. Like Louisiana Derby winners, however, few horses take the Arkansas-Kentucky double.
It’s still early. We’ve got promises to keep and miles to go before we sleep, so we don’t have to offer up our final thoughts for a couple more weeks. Just a few horses to ruminate on while you lift that barge and tote that bale, get a little drunk or land in jail. We’ll give you our final selections on May 1, two days before the race.
Not Appearing In Louisville….
….alas, would be hometown hero, Cosmic Flash. We’re saving him for the Travers, by which time all the classics contenders will be knocked to the wayside by the difficulty of the ordeal. Cosmic Flash worked five-eighths at Gulfstream Saturday in 1:00:23, third fastest move of the day out of 28. He’ll go another five furlongs and out six this weekend, then break from the gate seven days later. After that, if he’s still in one piece, it’s race time….perhaps the first week of May. You’ll be the first to know.
Priceless Rendering Of The Last Supper Unearthed In Mideast
A crack team of Israeli archaeologists searching for the Holy Grail in an enormous cavern beneath the Old City of Jerusalem came up with a different grail than they expected on April 15, a second painting of The Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci. The original Last Supper famously resides on a wall in the Convent of Santa Maria delle Gracie in Milan, Italy, where it has been viewed by millions. The value of the new painting was called “incalculable” by Dr. Seymour Rhellichs, leader of the team.
The new treasure was discovered in Zedekiah’s Cave, located east of Damascus Gate. Dr. Rhellichs commented “We were just lucky. We weren’t even looking for the thing, didn’t know it existed. It’s not exactly The Holy Grail but we’ll take it.”
Maybe he will and maybe he won’t. Israeli authorities claim that anything found in Zedekiah’s Cave is the property of the state of Israel and they have the guns to prove it.
The painting, which da Vinci labeled Thanksgiving dinner, ‘67, contains several characters whose identities are lost in the mists of time. However, at the back of the table, left to right, we can see Anne White, Pamme Brewer, Bill Killeen, Newt Simmons and Francis Patriquin (still eating, as usual).
Government authorities in Tel Aviv advise that if Israeli courts confirm ownership by the government, the painting will be put up for bids in a live auction sometime this summer. Bidding starts at $6.50.
Baby Time
Seems a little late, I know, but we ARE getting close to foaling time for our two mares, Dot and Wanda. The Magic Date is April 28, but that’s more a guide than a certainty. Generally, mares take somewhere in the vicinity of 335 days to foal but, like humans, can foal very early (not good) or very late (not necessarily bad). Our two girls generally hew fairly close to the line, 335-340 days, and let’s hope they keep it that way. From the 22nd through the 24th, we’ll be out of town (see below), and again on May 3rd for Siobhan’s niece, Ashleigh’s wedding in Chattanooga. In between, there could be a race in Miami for Cosmic Flash. Geez, what a mess. Who’s doing the planning here? Anyway, wish us luck. Baby pictures to follow. Whenever.
Whatever Happened To Lila?
Despite Siobhan’s insistence to the contrary, she’s no longer a puppy. See, being a puppy is supposed to excuse all Lila’s excesses….like nipping at the yearlings’ heels or chasing the goats (we have goats again) or jumping in the delivery man’s truck and scaring the bejeezus out of him. Siobhan, the ingrate, blames the latter misdeeds on earlier deliverymen who gave out treats, but Lila was not complaining.
Lila also does not come when she is called. Just looks back over her shoulder, shakes her head and says, “No, rather not.” Siobhan has overcome this reluctancy by utilizing a shrill whistle which can be heard even in Denmark. When she blows the whistle and Lila comes, she gets a hot dog. Hell, I would come, too, but Siobhan says we have to save the hot dogs for Lila.
The worst feature exhibited by our “puppy,” however, is her obsession with food, any food. She knows when it is dinnertime not only for her (“Don’t forget my egg!”) but also for us. If she is allowed to stay inside during any of our meals (she no longer is), she will sit as close to the food as possible and stare longingly up at the nearest human. If that human is not on the alert, a filled plate may be in danger. Once, the butter was left too close to the edge of the table and she started licking the stuff like it was foie gras. Lila will happily eat anything. She licks the remnants of my yogurt cup. She insists on her tiny bite of Siobhan’s after-dinner chocolate, even though chocolate is supposed to be anathema to dogs. She has read that it is a good idea to eat one’s vegetables.
Lila, who sleeps in our bedroom, often awakes during the night. This seems like a good time to her to begin licking herself all over and emitting unearthly sounds usually heard only in Wes Craven horror movies. Occasionally, she wants to go out, unimpressed that it might be 3 a.m. There are issues to be addressed in the yard, spooky invaders which must be barked at or, if worse comes to worse, jumped on. Discipline seems to be lacking in Lila’s life. Siobhan once allegedly bought her a shock collar but then suspiciously claimed “it won’t charge up” and took it back to Petsmart. She didn’t buy another. So the beat goes on. Lila roams her kingdom with reckless abandon, searching out small crimes, repelling invaders, challenging goats. Well, maybe not so much the latter anymore. The other day, one of the bigger goats, head bowed, horns aimed dogward, charged at Lila, who quickly got out of Dodge. I’m thinking of bringing that goat in the house.
Bad Dog Lila
Achtung!
Well, we had a dilemma on our hands but we solved it. Next week, Siobhan, Bill and our partner in crime, Tom Kennedy, will be in Rockville, Maryland, dueling with the Federal Drug Administration yet once more as Siobhan continues her never-ending battle for Truth, Justice and the American Way. That being the case, we had to decide whether to substitute an old blog or, for the very first time EVER, write the column on Friday. We chose the latter because Irana always gets pissed off when we run an oldie since she’s read them all. Now, let’s just hope the Great Silver Bird gets us back here in time. So don’t forget and sit there stewing in your own juice when Thursday comes and there’s no Pie. Dessert served late is better than no dessert at all.
That’s all, folks. Til FRIDAY….
