Photographs by Siobhan Ellison Creator of the Universe: Mike Kantz
One fine Zenn-Lavian day, Norrin’s sedentary life changed forever when a menacing alien spacecraft pierced the planet’s long-neglected defense system. Norrin convinced a member of the powerful Council of Scientists to provide him with a spaceship so he could get on out there and see what was up. And wouldn’t you just know it? It was that damned Galactus again, seeking another planet to gobble. This guy was getting to be a real interplanetary pest, but what is a mere Zenn-Lavian youth to do? Norrin bargained for the life of his planet; if Galactus would spare Zenn-La, Radd would become his herald, seeking out new worlds for him to consume. Nobody ever explained to us what this sort of “consumption” meant, unfortunately. I mean, did Galactus show up with a knife, fork and bib, sprinkle a few condiments on a sumptuous planet and stick it between two slices of bread? What? Anyway, Galactus agreed to the deal and transformed Norrin Radd into a silver-skinned, cosmic-powered superbeing and kicked in a magical surfboard which could take him anywhere in the blink of an eye. When you work for Galactus, you can’t be involved with undependable train schedules, after all. His planet saved, Norrin took to the skies with his scary new employer. On the bright side, life promised to be much less boring.
The Nomad’s Life
Norrin Radd, now known as the Silver Surfer, served Galactus well for many years, a bonus being his ability to explore the wonders of the universe. As we all know, however, there are just so many of these energy-rich worlds devoid of sentient life to offer up to one’s employer. The Silver Surfer was not disposed to provide Galactus with inhabited planets so Galactus, over time, began to subtly alter Radd’s mind, submerging his emotions and repressing past memories. And isn’t that just like an evil interplanetary pariah? Eventually, Earth showed up on the Silver Surfer’s horizon. Oh oh. This was a job for the Fantastic Four, who battled the Silver Surfer for Earth’s salvation. In the process, the Surfer met a blind sculptress named Alicia Masters (who thinks of these things?) who sensed his inner nobility and pleaded with him to spare humanity. His long-dormant emotions were stirred by what Alicia taught him of beauty and spirit and the Silver Surfer turned on Galactus and helped fight him off long enough for the Fantastic Four and Ualu The Watcher to secure the Ultimate Nullifier: a cosmic doomsday weapon which caused Galactus to withdraw. Well! No self-respecting Master of the Universe is going to take this sort of thing sitting down. Galactus decided to punish the Surfer by trapping him on Earth (now there’s a really scary punishment) and erecting an energy barrier around the planet that was uniquely attuned to him alone. NOW what? A quick scan of the Help Wanted ads provides little interest in alien space-surfers, let alone of the silver variety.
Adventures On Earth
The Silver Surfer became a melancholy global wanderer, trying to adjust to his new home and understand its people. Eventually, he was befriended and betrayed by the tyrant Doctor Doom, who imprisoned him and somehow stole his powers. Much to his chagrin, Doom lost his new might when he collided with Galactus’ barrier and the Silver Surfer’s powers were restored. Increasingly pessimistic about humanity, the Surfer befriended fellow outcast The Hulk, but you know how he is. Temper, temper. Always in a snit about something. And where some people might throw a plate across the room, The Hulk throws the whole house. It’s a bad living arrangement. You never get back your security deposit. Eventually, the Surfer correctly decided that humanity was a savage race that could only survive if the planet was united against a common foe. He decided to become that foe, terrorizing the world with his cosmic powers until the U.S. military struck him down with an experimental power-draining Sonic Shark missile. Humbled by the incident and shown the error of his ways by the Fantastic Four, the Surfer resumed his peaceful wanderings. Though his powers were at first diminished, they eventually returned to their original levels.
There are endless adventures of the Silver Surfer to relate but we don’t have as much time as he does. Suffice to say that among superheroes the Silver Surfer stands out for his attributes of intelligence, compassion and intellectualism. He has a flair for the artistic, a childlike capacity for wonder, an appreciation for invention. Despite his powers, he realizes his limitations. He has no delusions of grandeur, no aspirations for power, he is there to help, despite his suspicions of the human condition. So next time you see him zipping around up there, how about giving him a smile, a big thumbs up? After all, you never know when the next Galactus is on his way.
SS in Retirement
The Silver Surfer Interview
Our hero, still available for banquets and special occasions, now lives in semi-retirement in tiny Fairfield, Florida, where he keeps a few non-surfing horses on ten acres of land dotted with majestic live oaks. He was kind enough to answer a few questions for our reporter.
FP: Well, first of all, what’s all this business about you being seventy-three years old? We never caught sight of you until the mid-sixties.
SS: Nineteen-sixty-six was the first year Stan Lee began publicizing my exploits but you have to remember that I was through college and had embarked on a career by then. I was 26 years old at the time. I was actually born in your year 1940.
FP: Right, so that would make you 73 after all. Still, people from your planet usually live to at least double the life expectancy of Earthlings and you’ve been endowed with an even more exceptional body by Galactus. Why retire now?
SS: Almost 50 years of careening through space battling interplanetary villains takes its toll on a body, exceptional or not. And I’m perhaps the most prominent example of “been-there, done-that” in the universe.
FP: Yes, I’m sure you’ve seen it all. Can you tell us about some of your more spectacular discoveries?
SS: Hmmn, where to start? It’s hard to beat the birth of a star. Any of the nebulae….this time of year, the Witch Head Nebula comes to mind. The Lagoon Nebula, the Crab, the Horsehead, the Orion. A particular favorite is the Catseye Nebula….and I love the Pillars of Creation. On Earth, the Aurora Borealis wins, hands down.
FP: I know you’re disappointed in humanity in general. What do you think is our biggest problem?
SS: Religion, without a doubt. Organized religion is the bane of your planet. There are two reasons for war—the acquisition of land and religious differences and the latter is foremost. The Christians are the worst. People in this country deride the Arab sects for their ongoing strife but look at the Great Wars of the past. The Holy Roman Empire’s Thirty Years’ War between Protestants and Catholics resulted in as many as eleven million deaths. That’s eleven MILLION people killed by religious feuds. The French Wars of Religion—again Protestants and Catholics—four million dead! The Nigerian Civil War, this time between Christians and Islamites, three million deaths. The Second Sudanese Civil War, Islam and Christian deaths totaling two million. The Crusades massacred three million more people of these two religions.
In Ireland, the battles between the IRA and England went on forever. Catholics vs. Protestants again. And even though Hitler was out to conquer the world, there was certainly a Christian-Jewish component to his thinking. The Christians are even peripheral players in the wars between Israel and the Arab Nations.
FP: And after that?
SS: Well, bigotry seems indigenous to the human condition, though the younger people appear to be diluting the hatred somewhat. Maybe there’s hope for the future there. Selfishness seems much worse, however. Governments are increasingly owned by wealthy tycoons and corporations and fanatical groups like the National Rifle Association, which can make or kill a campaign with massive financial donations. Once elected, these pawns gerrymander the elective districts, insuring there will be few changes in the future. Because of this, Democracy increasingly does not work.
FP: Do you have any hope for us?
SS: Not much. In this country, the Federal Government is almost useless. If there is any hope, it is that the various states will take the lead in legislating. This is already happening in some ecological areas. Perhaps, if the nation sees a state succeeding with something, the rest of the population will take notice. I’m not optimistic.
FP: Okay, enough with the depressing stuff. What do you do for fun?
SS: I like to soar off to the Beautiful Places. Venice, the Great Barrier Reef, the Sahara, Patagonia, the Alaskan tundra. Perhaps the Alps or the Serengeti. The Grand Canyon would be nicer without all the blasted helicopters. Got sideswiped by a helicopter once. Came out of nowhere.
FP: Anything that makes you optimistic or even hopeful?
SS: There’s a new level of Philanthropy afoot in the land. People like Bill Clinton, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates and the like who are trying to direct resources to places they will do the most good instead of just stuffing a check in an envelope and hoping for the best. Better yet, they are trying to recruit others to the fray. Selfishness and Greed are tough enemies, you have to be satisfied with making little inroads here and there.
FP: Can we expect to see you back in action one of these days?
SS: Well, I’d never say never, but I’m pretty content with my life right now. I suppose that sooner or later some damned asteroid will threaten the planet and I’ll have to make a decision. Either let the place go or get up there and redirect the thing. Disgusted as I am with this society, moving is such a chore. And I just got the rye grass in for winter.
FP: Anything out there that still makes you feel really good?
SS: Well, as the old song says, I got the Sun in the mornin’ and the Moon at night, so there’s that. Oh, and it’s hard to beat a little kid with his first puppy. Where there’s life, there’s hope, I guess. I’m not ready to give up yet.
FP: Can we come back and visit with you from time to time?
SS: Sure, but keep it after eight, if you don’t mind. I‘m 73 now and I like to sleep in a little longer. And then there’s the horses to feed.
FP: Anything you’d like to say to our readers?
SS: Well, a couple of things, maybe. First, if you see Rush Limbaugh walking around the Grand Canyon, ask him if he could take a step back so you could get a better picture. And after that, well, just tell everybody to Keep On Truckin’. Maybe life can still throw you a few surprises. Hey, and remember: Be one of the nice people. It won’t kill you.
That’s all, comix fans….
