O Canada
O Canada!
Our Home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North, strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee!
Canadian Interlude
We like Canada. It’s just that the people up there are, well….different. Siobhan flew up to Toronto last week to visit a large Canadian outfit which was interested in her new EPM drug, Oroquin-10. Usually, when we visit large drug firms in the US, they roll out the red carpet, wine and dine us, spare no expense….even when the possibility of making a deal is moderate to remote. The Canadian guys, with a deal almost signed, sealed and delivered….not so much.
Most of the time, if we have not rented a car, there is a limo waiting at the airport. You know, with one of those spiffily dressed drivers holding an ELLISON sign. In Canada, Siobhan got Albert. The company car was nice enough, though Albert had pretty much filled it up with his own personal possessions. Albert, himself, left something to be desired. First of all, he was not there when Siobhan cleared customs. Her cell phone wouldn’t work in the airport so she made a $5 pay call to find him. He gave her some superficial directions about picking her up north of the building and hung up. Siobhan trooped outside and asked a cop which way was North.
“Eh?” wondered the cop. “I’m not sure I know that one, Miss.”
Siobhan wryly calculated a definite way to ascertain a satisfactory answer:
“Well, which way is East, then? Which way does the sun rise?”
“Couldn’t tell you that, Miss. I’ve only been on this job a short time.”
Siobhan called again—another $5—and found that Albert was still in the parking garage. Eventually, he walked up and summoned Siobhan to follow, no offer to carry her bag. Albert walked west halfway around the garage, then, without explanation, turned back and walked east about a quarter way. He had lost his car. Oh, wait a minute. He just “misplaced” it. Sort of like you “misplace” your keys or your glasses, Canadians misplace cars. Not to worry, though, “It must be around here somewhere.”
And, of course, it was, so Albert dutifully drove Siobhan to the Fairfield Inn & Suites, her residence for the night, arranging to pick her up at ten the next morning. After waiting 50 minutes past the rendezvous hour, Siobhan called and discovered he was having coffee at the Ramada Inn next door, wondering where she was. He had forgotten which hotel he had taken her to the previous day. Siobhan could hardly wait to see the glamorous place they were going for the lunch Albert had promised her. En route to the drug company, he stopped for gas and a bathroom break. He asked Siobhan to pick him up a cinnamon/raisin bagel and coffee. So much for lunch.
When they reached their destination, Siobhan traded Albert for Peter. His first question was, “Do you need to use the bathroom?” Not really, but thanks for your consideration. As Peter continued his tour of the plant, he made certain—every ten minutes or so—to reintroduce the question. Siobhan was wondering about this guy’s bathroom fetish but, eventually, they reached the company boardroom where representatives of various departments were assembled to view her presentation.
“Before we start,” the chief wanted to know, “Do you need to use the bathroom?”
“For crying out loud, what is it with you guys?” Siobhan wanted to know. “Is this some kind of cultural anomaly?”
The meeting, at least, proceeded splendidly and a tentative deal was hashed out. Generally, this is cause for a celebratory dinner….but not in Canada. Siobhan dined alone and visited some plebeian mall where she attempted to buy an item of clothing. Her Visa card was turned down even though it was $2000 under her limit. Next day, Albert returned to deliver her to the airport. He dropped her two-thirds of the way down the building, said he didn’t know where Delta’s gate was. Naturally, it was Gate 1 and the airport has no bag carry service.
We’re not saying you won’t have a wonderful time on YOUR visit to Canada, although it just isn’t the same since Sergeant Preston left. But you might want to stay away from Albert. And hey, if you happen to be one of those unfortunate people afflicted with intestinal problems, Canada could be the place for you. They have bathrooms everywhere just waiting to be used.
Neuvo Riche Again?
So if this big deal goes through, we’ll be back in the money. This has happened before. The first time, Vaunted Vamp made $420,000 on the racetrack, allowing Siobhan to put her practice on hold while she went back to UF to get her PhD. THAT worked out pretty good since this was the period she initiated her EPM work which is now bearing fruit.
The second time was when we sold a 3-year-old stakes-placed filly to California trainer Vladimir Cerin for $450,000. That time we paid off the mortgage, re-roofed the house, put up new peripheral fencing and bought new cars. Well….used cars. But nice used cars. We still got ‘em and Siobhan swears she’s not ever going to get rid of her Ford 150, no matter what. It’s got 195,000 miles on it so we’ll see.
Maybe we’ll buy a two-year-old-in-training at the OBS sale in April. Or maybe we’ll build a sunset tower, it’s hard to see the sunsets from our yard. Or maybe we’ll construct a giant money bin, like Scrooge McDuck, who liked to sit in there, throw his money up in the air and let it come down and hit him on the head or, alternately, burrow through it like a gopher. Or maybe we’ll just put it away and save it for the next time we’re Nuevo Poor. Yeah….that last one.
Ellison Invasion Imminent
Every so often, Siobhan’s brother, Stuart, and his wife, Mary, jump in their car and drive down here for a week. This is one of those times. Stuart, an ex-anesthesiologist, retired early at 58 and has plenty of time on his hands, which he uses by creating $40 screws in his downstairs shop or taking very nice photographs of the cosmos through his telescope. This is not altogether okay with Mary, who still has a job and doesn’t like watching Stuart sit around all day on the couch playing with his computer. So Mary makes it her business to provide Stuart with “projects.” And there is no time off when they come down here, either, as Mary and Siobhan collude to provide Stuart with something productive to spend his time on. This time it’s sink installation. Siobhan, after all, these years, has decided she needs a new bathroom sink even though the old one seems perfectly good to me. This is a little treat she is giving herself for her new EPM deal (she also insists I take an equal $300 to do whatever with and I can tell you my own sink is just fine, thank you, and maybe I’ll save it for a better seat for the Alabama game).
Anyway, one of my important jobs here is Taste Advisor. Oh, I have other important jobs, as well. I am also Coordinator of Grammar & Usage. Your little computer may have a spelling checker (that put me out of one job) but I’ll bet it doesn’t check your grammar. So I’ve got to edit Siobhan’s web postings, including her weekly blog (which, ruefully, is read by FAR more people than that of yours truly). And sometimes I am required to “spiff it up,” which pretty much means write the introductory paragraph, the finish and maybe a little bit of the middle.
I got my job as Taste Advisor when I first moved in here and cleaned out Siobhan’s clothes closet, eliminating 90% of her stuff which I was then, in all fairness, forced to replace. Anyway, in this capacity I am forced to provide input on such things as the new sink so we migrated out to Lowe’s yesterday to look at basins. While Siobhan can eliminate a sale horse from consideration when it is a mere two seconds out of the stall or ding a new television program before the credits are finished, she likes to take her time with bathroomware.
“What do you think of this one?” she asks.
“It’s okay.”
“What about this one over here?”
“Nope.”
“Gee, there are a LOT of them….”
“I like this one over here,” I told her.
“Yeah, that one’s nice.”
“Well, that’s my vote.”
“Gosh, that was fast. Why did you pick that one.”
“I like the light colors. I like the marble look. I like the bowl being the same color as the counter. It fits in with what you’ve already got in your bathroom.”
“Gee, I thought it would take longer…”
She was pleased to stretch out the purchase time by selecting faucets (brushed nickel, a nice subdued tone to go with the sink), a towel rack and a toilet-paper holder. We lugged it all home where it sits in readiness for Stuart. So just in case you were wondering why a wealthy-to-be, often-brilliant younger woman keeps me around, now you know. It’s my hidden talents.
Either that or the hot monkey sex.
Dead Woman Walking
Well, as predicted here long ago, Michele Bachmann has hit the skids and her campaign staff is baling out like rats deserting the sinking ship. I mean, how many presidential candidates can one Tea Party support? The gild will soon be off the current lily, Rick Perry, as the voters get to know the mean-spirited little weasel better. Yesterday, Dick Cheney, of all people, publicly disagreed with his surly comments on Ben Bernanke and stinging denunciation of Social Security. When Dick Cheney is scolding you, who’s left—Attila The Hun?
Irish Eyes Are Smiling. We Think.
Speaking of Republicans, my sister, Alice (R—Cal.), is visiting Ireland this week. Alice actually has fans on this blog, which doesn’t speak well of us at all, and just in case any of them wonder what she’s doing (or ever plan to visit Ireland), she writes:
Greetings from Ireland. Went to the Cliffs of Moher yesterday. Rainy and windy. Almost got blown off the cliff. Incredible views. Walked about 5-10 minutes to the Blarney Castle, then walked up 100 steps to lay on my back with my head hanging down the great hole to kiss a “stone.” Then had to walk back down very narrow, very slippery stairs. Fun though. We are in Killarney today and tomorrow. Going to the Ring of Kerry tomorrow and Cashel and Kilkenny Friday. Took a horse and carriage ride to the lakes today. We had a lot of fun, but it’s a wonder we weren’t ejected. The driver was young and nice, so he put up with us. The people on this tour are very nice and know how to have a good time. Love, Alice
Hey, Alice! I’m going to call over there and tell them you voted against JFK. See how nice everybody is then.
Racing Report
Cosmic Crown, also known as Juno, is in the 13th race at Calder Saturday, 5:58 p.m. You can get a chart of the race about 20-30 minutes after that on Equibase. The regular Full Charts are free. Anywhere in the money will be great first time out. Keep your fingers crossed.
And that’s all, folks….
